So Close, Yet So Far

The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want.

Psalm 23:1

Every day is a new day and every day is a new struggle, but the end will be worth the struggle. As I’ve gone through my Guillain Barré Syndrome (GBS) journey I’ve had many ups and downs, but now I believe there are more ups than downs.

I’ve been home from the hospital for about three and a half months. Being in the “real” world is much more difficult than being in the hospital where the building is set up for people with limited mobility. In my house I have a wheelchair and a four-wheeled walker to help me get around. I try to walk as much as possible, but I tire easily. Fatigue is one of the long lasting effects of GBS.

I arrived home with a two-wheeled walker and crutches to help me climb stairs. I quickly replaced my two-wheeled walker with a four-wheeled walker and felt much sturdier and comfortable, especially since it also has a seat to rest on.

When I got home from the hospital, I attended church twice before the COVID-19 shutdown. The first time I went to church I used my wheelchair and the next time I used my walker. My church members noticed the improvements in me as my recovery continued. But then the shutdown occurred and we couldn’t go to church for 13 weeks! Our services continued online, but it was never the same.

During the shutdown I was still able to attend my physiotherapy sessions, and each week I got a little stronger. I began to climb stairs using a cane instead of a crutch and found that I could take a few baby steps away from my walker. I started to use a cane in the house instead of a walker and only used the walker outside of the house. And then we went shopping.

I found that I could walk around the grocery store using only a shopping cart for balance. No cane or walker needed. But I did find that I was really tired after just a few minutes. That fatigue really hits fast. But I overcome it and continue to move forward.

Last week I took another big step forward when I was able to use the treadmill for the first time. I climb aboard at about 1 MPH and can walk for about ten minutes. It’s good to have it available because I can use it inside no matter what the weather.

I’ve also begun to drive again. I hope someday to get back to work driving a semi, but that is in the future. For now, I’m just glad to be able to drive our SUV. Getting in and out is a bit of a challenge, but I do it without any help. It’s all one step at a time.

This past Sabbath I amazed my church family when I walked into the church using only a cane. And not only did I walk into the church, but I opened the Sabbath Service at the front of the church, something I’ve not done for almost a year.

I’m thankful to God for every new challenge that I overcome. As we are told in Philippians 4:13, I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” I hold true to that promise because I know He is watching over me on my recovery journey.

I believe that He has something special in mind for me and I pray that He will reveal it to me.

God Bless

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