Looking Back

One of my favourite Garth Brooks songs is The Dance, which starts out: Looking back on the memory of, the dance we shared beneath the stars above. And it goes on to tell of the life he had alongside a lost love. And while that lost love caused him great pain, he still wouldn’t have given up the dance, because that dance made all his pain worth it.

So it leaves us to wonder, if you knew how life would turn out, would you make different choices? I can think of two major events in my life, that if I had made different choice, my life would’ve been much different. One of them happened in 1985, and the other was made leading up to July 2011,

In 1985, I met a girl through mutual friends. We had a real fun time at a party and knew we could because we’d never see each other again. That is until on a whim I sent this girl a dozen roses with a note reading “Call me!” And she did! We started dating, our first date was supper followed by going to a greeting card shop and laughing our heads off at the funny cards, and that was followed by a really poor choice of a movie! [Sidenote: if you’re ever going to a movie with a girl you are dating, or want to date, make sure you know the content of the movie first!] I took her to see Tomboy! I’ll tell you how bad it was, I tried to find it on IMDB.com and its not there! It was a cringe worthy first date because the main character was a tomboy but she didn’t seem to mind showing off her female bits! So much for second date!

Well as fate would have it, I did get a second date, and a third, and at some point as nature took its course, this girlfriend of mine became pregnant. I did the right thing and nine months later our first son was born, followed by two more, and in June of 2020 we will have been married for 34 years! So there were a couple of choices I could’ve made that might have made my life different. Firstly looking back at my 1985 self, I wouldn’t have gone near that darn movie! And we, and it was a “we” choice, could’ve chosen not to make love, or at the very least choose a little better protection. And lastly, I could’ve chosen to not hang around, which never once crossed my mind!

I look back at the past 33 1/2 years, the pain, the illnesses, the money issues, and so many other bad things that had happened, but would I want to miss all that pain for the love that I have for my wife? Absolutely not! It was all worthwhile.


Having a major illness like Guillain Barré Syndrome takes its toll on people in multiple ways. Unexpected expenses arise for which there is no coverage. In addition, even though I had income protection, it doesn’t provide full income, and yet the bills continue. We’d appreciate any donation to our cause, no matter how small that amount is.

Go Fund Me – Paul Croft (GBS)


My next one may be a little more difficult to understand. In 2011 I made some really bad choices while trucking in the USA. Luckily I was caught reentering Canada and not the US, because they would probably have left me to rot in one of their jails. As it were, it took 2 1/2 years to work through the Canadian legal system. In April 2014 I was sentenced to 1 year in jail, and had to serve 8 months with time off for good behaviour. I eventually was released after 7 months on a compassionate early release. Many would think going to jail for 7 months, or any amount of time, would be a bad thing, but I can honestly say it was a good thing.

If I hadn’t gone to jail, I never would’ve rekindled my relationship with God, and therefore would never rekindled my relationship with my wife! As I’ve mentioned in previous posts I had a serious spiritual awakening while in jail: My Journey Begins, & Happy Birthday. I would’ve still been heading down the same road to ruin that I was then.

In the time since I’ve left jail, I’ve built my relationship with God and the church, I’ve been baptised, started working driving truck again (at least until August 2019, the future still remains unclear), and as stated previously, I’ve rekindled my relationship with my wife.

Its never too late to change, if you’re stuck on a path that is going nowhere, call out to God and ask Him to give you strength to overcome your challenges. He listens, and He will help you as He did me! Or send me a message, and I’ll add you to my prayer list. God answers prayers, so take a chance before it’s too late,

I need to thank everyone who prayed for me during my illness. While I’m not yet cured and still in hospital for little while, I do strongly believe that the prayers from at home, at church and around the world through my blog and social media were heard by God and He hastened the healing. It will be a while before I am fully back to health, but I am over the worst of it now. I’ve heard stories from others who had the same disorder (GBS) and had it much worse. I personally met one man who suffered with it for 13 months in hospital and is still suffering the effects at home. While this disorder doesn’t get the recognition that it should, it is something that is difficult to shake. It also can be fatal, and I came very close to that myself. Thankfully I’m still here.

God Bless

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